Bill Engvall made a fortune (probably a small fortune, but a fortune nonetheless) telling a joke that stupid people should wear signs.  The thought crossed my mind when I pulled into Maine's welcome center, which is supposed to look woodsy and Maine-like, and it was covered with signs, apparently to direct stupid people.  We parked in front of this sign, which got me frosted.



Really?  Do I need a sign to tell me to drink water when I am thirsty?  Then I started noticing the whole welcome center wasn't very welcoming at all.  There were so many signs you couldn't see the forest for the sign forest.  Immediately below the drink water sign was this one:



Fair enough, there are some rules.  But maybe one big sign with all the rules on it would be better, because the next thing you see is this:



I'm not quite sure why they chose that exact spot.  If it's to avoid the smoker's gauntlet, it would not have worked because everyone had to walk past this sign.  Then you do see a sign with multiple rules on it:



Sorry about the flash.  The rules are no pets, no smoking, no bare feet, no food or drinks in building.  OK, maybe for folks who missed it the first time, the no pets and no smoking are repeated.  Note the whole "West Entrance" thing.  Like we're at Disney Land and are going to get terribly lost because there are two doors on the building.  And if you are going to get lost because the building has two doors, you think you are bright enough to remember you came in through the West Entrance?

Just in case you missed it the first several times, there are more no smoking signs:





OK, this is if you happen to walk up another sidewalk, but it's not more than 30 feet from the others:



The next sign I saw really kind of chaffed me on so many levels:



First of all, it's information that you should know in order to get a driver's license.  Second, these signs on the highway don't do anything but distract us from the road.  Third, this isn't on the road, it's on a walking path. So fourth, I suppose someone is supposed to read it and say "Oh, I'm supposed to slow down and be more alert in a construction area.  I never knew that."  And have that epiphany because, fifth, "Maine Kids" told me to do it in a messy font.  This is right near the entrance and blocks a view of the 1960's era "naturalistic" architecture.

So once you get inside, there are more signs:



The floor was dry.  I hate this sign because I don't think anyone should expect the floor to be dry and when you put it up and leave it, they lose all meaning.



This tiny sign sits over a computer that's in the wall that tells you on the screen it's "Visitor Information."  And you are at a visitor information center.



This beat-up, huge, old sign sits halfway between the restrooms, which each have huge signs on them.  The restrooms are less than 20 feet apart.   If you can find the ladies' toilet and you need a sign ten feet away to point you to the men's room that's ten feet beyond, you will never find it with or without the sign.



(Note the Underline Please)



On a locked door.  There are the required exit and fire extinguisher signs all over the place too.  There's nothing you can do about the statutory signs, so I didn't photograph them, but they contribute to the overall feeling that you are in a sea of signs.

OK, we have to leave now, but which way.  I'm so lost and there are not one but two doors.  I haven't been this confused since I went to Disney World.  Oh, dear!  Did I park in Scooby Doo 49, or Snow White 562?



Thank God I remembered "west" and brought a compass.  Although this says "entrance" there is an exit sign, otherwise I might assume that even though it looks like outside, it's a trick.  The following picture is the view I captured when photographing this sign.  There are about ten signs in this image.



So I thought I was done, and you probably hope so too, but you see that trash can?  It has a sign on it too.



I was about to throw diamonds in there after I rummaged around for cans.  I mean is anyone going to bother obeying either of these stupid signs?  That got me looking for more stupid signs.

By the way, here's a view of the front of our lovely welcome center building:



So it just below t his pair of signs is a great one:



I wonder if I can get a meal here, because I just learned that snacks are not a meal replacement.



I need to get the dogs out for a walk later, but for now, I'm thinking about a steaming pot roast with mashed potatoes and broccoli.  I bet the vending machines have meals instead of snacks.











Oh, goody.  I didn't notice a single sign in braille. 





Only snacks in there.  Where is that dog walk area again?  Thank God! Another sign!



About 20 feet to the area?



No, about 20 more feet.



Another sign?  Maybe 20 more feet.



Now I wonder if I can run the dogs off-leash.  Believe it or not, I can't find a sign.  But now I feel like I need some exercise.  I wonder if there's a sign telling me how to get in shape. 



Once you try to leave there are so many signs and arrows it's amazing anyone can actually find the exit.  I know the signs have good intentions, and the less folks respect the "rules" the more folks put up signs to enforce them.  But the place is ugly.  They should take down any sign that doesn't really help anybody, like the silly health-related signs.  Anything that you should know, like how to drive signs, should go.  They could cut the signs pointing you to the various areas in half, and the remaining signs would be more effective.

Welcome to Maine, Stupid.  Here's your sign.